When I was a little girl, my mother and I would dream about me as an adult. I would have a husband and children, a job that I loved and she would visit me when she got tired of being at my siblings’ houses. I didn’t know how any of these things would happen, but I somehow saw it all and looked forward to all. Fast forward to me at 25; unmarried, no children, no husband in sight and no career to speak of. I looked at my mother like the failure I thought she saw in me. “My child,” she said sympathetically, “When I was 25, I had 2 babies and a husband I was not happy with. It would be another 5 years before I left him and started building the life I wanted. Relax, don’t even worry about all those things.”

That was the day I learned the importance of staying in your lane. Someone has a better car than you, but is drowning in debt all in the name of keeping up appearances. Someone has the husband and children you’ve always wanted, but really wants to pack all her bags and run away from it all. Not having all the things, you always dreamed of at the “appropriate” time can be a blessing; a blank canvas that is yet to be painted; what an exciting thought there is still more to come! Those things will come when you are ready for them.

“So what are we to do in the meantime?”, is probably your next question. Enjoy the benefits of the lane in which you find yourself. Learn to love your life as it is and don’t be afraid to make changes. Try new things, take your time, and most importantly, be mindful. As much as you yearn for the greener pasture on the other side, someone out there is looking over into your property wishing their grass was as green as yours. It’s really a balancing act. It is inevitable, there are days when you will be very happy with the life that you’ve made for yourself, and other days when you will wish you had more. Don’t let any of it get you down.


Noloyiso is an English teacher by day and a writer of prose and other trivia by night. You can find her on social media accounts.

Twitter: @nolo_yiso


Instagram: @nolo_yiso


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