It was late at night when I stood outside by the gate and looked into the sky.
The stars were shining and that’s when reality hit me.
I saw little eyes blinking,
Ears yearning to listen,
Nose smelling around,
Neck trying to turn around,
Shoulders big enough to carry me.
Above the galaxies I saw little hands waving at me,
Hips swaying left to right,
Thighs brushed by those hands,
Legs trying to run down to me,
Feet so dry and torn.
Above the galaxies I saw a figure,
A human figure.
Tears filled my eyes,
I couldn’t hold them in any longer So I let them out.
I found myself laying on the floor And staring into the sky.
I wanted to go back into the house But it was so hard to walk away.
How was I to, how was I to walk away. When I had this guilt in me…
How was I to walk away
When I Felt bad about what I had done.
I killed … I killed her
And She was clearly coming back for me.
I took a life,
A life so precious
A special life,
A life considered to be a gift,
A life I helped create,
A life that changed my life.
Above the galaxies I wanted to leave But walking away is so,
It’s hard walking away And I secretly hoped she understood that.
I dried my tears
And caught my breath
I opened the gate and headed for the door
I fell to my knees And said a prayer,
An apology to the little girl.
“I didn’t mean to hurt nor kill you But I wasn’t ready to have you,
You came at the wrong time And I too am still a child.
Your existence was going to ruin my life,
I would have been a young mother.
I’m sorry, I’m sorry but I had to let go of you”.
It’s so hard to walk away
But above the galaxies
I had to forget about you.
I am Poetess Dee NTeddy I was born & raised in Qwa-Qwa (Eastern Free-State) but now residing in Kempton Park (East Rand) – South Africa. I am a poet(ess) and have been doing poetry from a very young age, my poetry focuses on mainly reality issues that too many people are afraid to tackle and talk about. I am a blogger (Since September 2015). My blog is based on poetry (Most of it being my own) and short stories – Link on below. I have attended small up and coming poetry events in and around the East Rand & Soweto. I have hosted my own before but due to lack of funds, I have had to stop. I have featured in local community magazines & newspapers.
You can follow Poetess Dee on her social media pages.